It was the worst result of my university life. I hope not to see that ever again.

This is perfect proof that some subjects can only be mastered with hard work and consistent effort. I need to thank my lucky stars that I can graduate with my class of honours intact.

I think that this is proof I may not be as suitable as I thought I will be as an accountant, or as an auditor, or as an research analyst. Basically, anything too quant is probably not my forte. I can deal with numbers, but not as well as I would like.

Some of you may notice that this post is rather deliberate and careful with words, cos I know that some of the audience may take issue with the vulgarities I tend to spew online. But, just let me vent my frustrations here, okay? =)

FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! WHAT SHIT RESULTSS!!

arrr, much better.

I think I will be closing this blog once I start work. No point updating this blog anymore since I will probably be busy working. I really hope that this shit result will not affect my chances in future opportunities next time. If it does, I will be buying up all available AA306 text and burning them in a bonfire right in front of NBS!!!! hah a ha ha ha hah

Been experiencing humbling situations this week...

It is time for me to buck up and be motivated to succeed...

Lack of self confidence has always tripped me up in the worst possible times... I need to show that I am worthy of it, and will exceed expectations!

jiayou jiayou!

From now on, only hard work and persistence can pull me through. No longer will I rely on "luck" and "smarts". I have stretched my luck too far, and have over-estimated how much my "smarts" can compensate for the inherent laziness.

time to sleep, and reflect.

what the hell am i thinking? ...

The new year promises certain "milestones" in my life...

the end of january is gonna be an exciting time for me... fingers crossed!!

Feb'09 promises, as every other Feb in other years, to rip my wallet to shreds~

May 09 will be my unofficial graduation!! no more studies!!

July 09 will be when I start work... finally, earning my own keep! I still remember wanting to get out of the rat race, but looks who is jumping head first into the rat cage? ha ha

"A person can improve his or her character by practicing self-discipline, while a good character can be corrupted by repeated self-indulgence." Aristotle

It makes perfect sense. But nobody is perfect. Procrastination is nobody.

HAI

Blog revived!

I cannot give up.

I know my capabilities. However, self confidence sometimes can be broken down so easily.

Fuck it. One thing at a time!

Thank you. It was a shock to receive such an expensive gift from you, my friend. I am very touched and abit guilty that you gave the gift to me. I hope that you don't see this as corny. But really, I thank you for being so generous.

Will treasure the gift, really. Hope that you will be able to choose the right path to walk on!

Cheers! =)

wow, time to blow the dust off my blog...

New year ahead of me.

I had wanted to write a super depressing post. I don't know why. I always end up with sad and dark posts whenever I blog.

Whatever. Fuck.


Let us have a great year ahead! May the path ahead be shown to me in due time! =)

He has always been living in the shadows of X.

X knows all of his failures and shorcomings, and is not afraid to reveal them to everyone.

He has no choice, he has to cooperate and give in to X.

It is not a very bad life. In fact, he is doing quite well, even though he is always in the shadows of X. He has done well in school, made new friends and picked up new hobbies. Everything is going well. But whenever he thinks back of his failures, the shadow of X looms over him, and destroys his self-confidence. The fear of X dominates his thoughts, and he withdraws into his comfort zone. It is his tendency to be meek and submit to the whims of X. Whatever self confidence he has built up is quickly eroded by X.

His existence is not impressive, just mediocre. It is... not something he desires for.

One day, realisation struck him. He had enough. He realised that the best thing to do now is to accept his failures and shortcomings. And move on. Learn from his own failures. He realised that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Admitting to his failures and faults, is the bravest thing he has done.

He admitted to his faults. X is very shocked. X does not know how to react. X just stood there, and stared at him.

He looked at X. X no longer looked that domineering. In fact, X looked just like him, when he was depressed! He peered over X's shoulders. He has forgotten the sights surrounding him. All along, he has been focused on X and the shadow on the ground. Looking around, everything looked so inviting, so pleasing to the eye.

"What have I missed out on? What an idiot I am!" he muttered to himself.

Without looking at X again, he strided off, and took in the wonderful sights. The freedom to roam around overwhelmed him. These feeling of happiness, confidence and enthusiasm have never occurred to him while he was in X's shadow.

"Treasure this feeling...Never forget it." he told himself.

___________________________________________________________________

What is X? I believe X exists in everyone of us. X is this second voice in our head, telling us to give up, to slack off, to procrastinate.

Fight X off. Believe in yourself. And take pride in your own uniqueness. Everyone is special. Do not let X tell you otherwise.

Note: To anyone who reads this, sorry for the simplistic and crude story. Just something I thought of suddenly, and I just have the urge to write it down. =p

I love challenges.

I like the way they screw me up and leave me there sobbing.

I love the way everyone of us will eventually screw these challenges back and grind their faces to the ground.

This is nothing.

When is the best time to be a nerd?

Now! Before the exams! This is the best time! If not now, then when? AFTER your exams?

(this post serves as a reminder to me that I will study at any free time possible...)

Are you living the dream life you always wanted?

Or are you living a life that is carefully planned for you?

Why do I always hear stories of how the loved ones diappoint?

Be firm in your beliefs, and stand for your own rights.

You are the one who can make a difference in your life. No one else.

Today was my first real attempt at trying to network.

It was a real eye opener. I cannot believe what kinda crap I will say just to make myself sound intelligent. haiz

Oh well, I suppose it will only get better with practice.

At 22 years old, it is really hard to convince myself that I still have a long way to go.

In another 2 years' time, I will be working hard for my monthly salary. Or, I will be working hard earning a meager allowance while building up my business. It seems that starting my business is no longer feasible. The security of a job seems so much more important to me now. I don't think I can tolerate the uncertainty of a business.

Starting a business now will be very selfish of me, because it will only add more stress to my parents. My dad is going to retire in 1 or 2 years' time. Will I be selfish enough to ask my dad to work for another 5 years while I use his hard-earned money to splurge on my selfish desire of starting a business?

I think the choice is probably obvious by now. My parents had wanted to depend on me when my dad retire. My brother still need financial support from my dad's retirement funds for further education. Who am I to draw on these funds which are intended to support my brother's education needs? Will I really allow my parents to work until they are physically unable to work? What kind of son will allow that?

However, I will not give up on my dream of starting up a business, and a successful one, to state the obvious. Perhaps, I will jump on the chance when the capital requirement is within my budget. But till such an an occasion arises, I will be better off shelving these grandose plans, and focus on my studies.

The better your grades, the better your resume looks. The more senior your appointments in your CCa are, the more impressive you are. If you happen to dabble in community service, your resume will just be about perfect. This is such a game we must play. No one can avoid this game. Even if you think that it is morally wrong, participation in the "meritocracy" game of the society is still compulsory.

I feel that....... this is being practical. I know that stating these unspoken facts can be.... nauseating for some. But at this stage in my life, this is a game that I must play, no matter the cost. I only pray that I will be able to treat everyone fairly and sincerely, and not undermine my moral values.

To accomplish this with my integrity intact. I think I will have really aced this game.


What else have I been doing? I believe some of you may know that I have invested most of my savings in the stock market.

Have my investments done well? I think that my portfolio is already fortunate enough. The subprime crisis in the US have hammered the Asian markets this 2 weeks. The STI dropped below 3000 points in the afternoon and recovered to slightly above 3130 points. Do note that just a month ago, the STI was in the high 3500s.

What does it all mean? In layman terms, the stock market is not doing well. The general sentiment is one of anxiety, fear and uncertainty. What can a small time investor like me do?

I think that it is important to think rationally instead of acting on fears. My selections of stocks are so far, quite satisfactory to me. In fact, I was thinking of buying up more of these stocks if my target prices are met.

You may think that I am crazy for still wanting to invest some more into the volatile stock market. However, I think there it is only during periods where people act on emotions rather than rationale, are there big opportunities for level headed investors to choose from.

Let us observe the market and see how the market sentiments sway. Hopefully, there will be even more opportunities for me then!

Harry Potter is really a good book.

Hai, sorry dear, I swear that I was distracted by the intriguing storyline and not by the handsome lad with a scar on his forehead. Serious.

小弟弟，你要吃什么？

This question from the smiling auntie at the foodstall made my day. ha ha ha

I still look like a 小弟弟, probably around 18!

ha ha ha

but really, it has been so fast. I am now almost 22. There is not more "room for mistakes"; "will do better next time"; "no problem boy, you will learn from this". We are not in secondary school or JC now.

While working, it is " why is this not done?'; "do you know how to count? 1,2,3,"; "will you follow up on the tasks that I gave you this morning?"; "where's your responsibility?"

My accounting internship will be ending this month. My meager pay aside, I have really learnt many important lessons.

Opportunities are no longer spoon-fed to you. No longer will your teacher encourage you to take up the role of a student leader in a CCA. You need to look for for such opportunities, and grab them.

Climbing up the corporate ladder is important, but the relationship between colleagues and superiors must always be nurtured. A cohesive and friendly atmosphere will make the workplace a much more pleasant and productive environment. The boss is solely responsible for creating such an environment. When the leader cannot lead well, the workers cannot be expected to work hard for him!

Leadership is so important, and yet many people confuse leadership with dictatorship.

Setting a good example is perhaps the most important thing for a leader to do, and yet, so many leaders talk the walk and only "supervise" their subordinates.

This was indeed a humbling and enriching experience. I hope that when, and if, I start my own business, I will be able to become a good leader.

22 years old, and yet my future is not carefully planned yet. Hai.... what will I be doing for my future? Will I be struggling up the corporate ladder? Or fighting my way to establish my business? Or should I respect my parents and join the civil service?

Today is a very irritating day. Kana arrows for no reason.

A good lesson learnt. You can be nice, but do not expect others to be nice.

Always remember to watch your back, and protect yourself. Helping others, is only to a certain extent.

Hai, hopefullt this can clear up asap, but i foresee another session of arguing about credit/debit notes again.... better go through the whole thing thoroughly first with my senior man.....

hmmm, will i ever get my "performance review" as promised? is there any hope of a "revision of pay"?

Hmmm, if I strike 4D first prize tml, maybe.

Recovering from fever.

Actually, having a fever is not a bad thing. You get to sleep in on Thur, Fri, Sat and play on Sun.

HA HA HA HA


Hai, when will my passive income notion ever come true?

What happened to my business ideas? Suddenly, I see myself slaving away at a 9 to 5 job...

HMM, what if it is a 9 to 5 job paying a 5 digit figure? hmmmmmm


ha ha ha, just day dreaming.......

back to sleep! another new day, for this intern!

Thank you God, for giving me this chance. Though my efforts have fallen short, You are willing to look past my mistakes.

I will not squander this chance away.